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Texting + _______ = ?

Teens, tweens, twentysomethings and everybody else with a blackberry, iPhone or Android seems to have a slang term for the specific type of texting they’re doing, so how about parents?

“Correxting” Pointing out typos and misspelled words in your kids’ texts.
“Incorrexting” Pointing out typos and misspelled words in your kids’ texts without realizing they’re SMS slang.
“Complexting” Trying to explain something in under 140 characters that’s impossible to explain in under 140 characters, usually out of anger, rage or frustration.
“Deflexting” Telling your kids to text their father/mother instead.
“Rejexting” Saying “No.”
“Disrespexting” Texting when you’re supposed to be listening to your spouse, children, in-laws, etc.
“Perplexting” Asking your kids to repeat what they just said in plain English because you don’t understand SMS slang.
“Tex-mexting” Asking your kids if they want tacos or burritos for dinner.
“Megaplexting” Telling your kids to text you when the movie is over so you can come and pick them up.
“Nexting” Trying to avoid unnecessary drama by promising to do something “next time.”
“Expexting” Repeatedly texting your teenage son or daughter to ask them where they Hell they are!
“Chexting” Randomly checking in with your kids to make sure they’re okay.
“Suspexting” Randomly checking in with your kids to make sure they’re okay because you suddenly have the feeling they’re up to something.


MY SON: What’s that sign say?
ME: Leinenkugel’s.
MY SON: What’s Leinenkugel’s?
ME: It’s a kind of beer.
MY SON: Is it new?
ME: No, Leinenkugels has been around forever — that’s the beer we used to drink in high school.
MY SON: Wait… you drank beer in high school? I thought it was against the law to drink beer in high school?
ME: Uh… It is.
MY SON: But you just said “that’s the beer we drank in high school.”
ME: Yes, but what I meant was… uh… um… what I meant was that Leinenkugel’s was popular when I was in high school.
MY SON: You mean that’s what other kids drank?
ME: No, because there was absolutely no beer-drinking in high school. By anyone. Ever. What I meant was that at the time I was in high school, Leinenkugel’s was a popular beer that legally-aged adults consumed in limited quantities in a responsible fashion.
MY SON: Oh. What a funny name for a beer.
ME: Yes.