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DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, DO NOT EVEN ROLL THE DICE

6:23 pm

Mom and Dad decide to play a game with the kids.

6:58 pm

They decide on Monopoly, even though it’s not their first, second or even third choice.

6:59 pm

They look for the game.

7:05 pm

They find the game hidden away in back of closet and wonder what it’s doing there.

7:08 pm

They look for the dice.

7:19 pm

They find the dice.

7:22 pm

They realize the $5 bills are missing, too, but agree to just round up to the nearest 10.

7:24 pm

They roll to see who goes first.

7:28 pm

They decide rolling to see who goes first leaves too much to chance and choose to go from youngest to oldest instead.

7:29 pm

Dad tells oldest not to pout.

7:30 pm

Mom tells youngest not to gloat.

7:31 pm

Everybody starts playing.

7:55 pm

Mom reminds everyone it’s just a game and the point is to have fun.

8:07 pm

Dad remind everyone it’s just a game and the point is to have fun, but he uses “the angry voice.”

8:17 pm

Mom starts getting competitive.

8:18 pm

Dad starts getting competitive, too, but claims it’s Mom’s fault because she started getting competitive first.

8:19 pm.

The kids remind Mom and Dad it’s just a game and the point is to have fun.

8:20 pm

Mom and Dad tell kids they can quit any time they want to, otherwise shut up and roll.

8:26 pm

Mom puts hotels on the yellows.

8:34 pm

Dad puts hotels on the purples and the reds.

8:35 pm – 8:43 pm

One after another, the kids land on Mom’s and Dad’s properties, lose all their money, all their property, and are forced out of the game despite their please for compassion, pity, help, another chance, etc.

Mom and Dad ignore them keep playing.

10:49 pm

Mom and Dad finally remember why the Monopoly game was hidden away in back of closet.

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