- Summer is no time to diet.
- Sometimes you do have to turn the car around and go home.
- Which sucks.
- You should be allowed to speed when one of your kids just can’t hold it anymore and it’s 21 miles to the next rest stop.
- Either that or kids should be able to pee by the side of the road without anyone giving their parents a nasty look.
- The stuff you like doesn’t last; the stuff you hate lasts forever.
- Even people who like heat don’t like 100 degree heat.
- For most people, the idea of sleeping out under the stars is much more peaceful and relaxing than the reality sleeping out under the stars, especially when you drink too much and have to pee every hour and a half.
- Sometimes you have to let your kids head off in the woods and get stung by a bee.
- Even bad experiences have redeeming qualities, except for 15-hour car trips, which totally suck.
- There’s a fine line between “burnt” and “well-done.”
- (For most people, anyway.)
- Even families who vowed not to watch TV all summer watched ABC’s “Wipeout.”
- Steak + grill + friends & family = the perfect summer party.
- Steak + grill + friends & family + lots of alcohol = 2nd degree burns, a video clip for Youtube, and a lot of things you can’t explain to your kids until they’re much, much older.
- A beach is better than a video game, but only for a few days. After that, kids get bored and want to play Wii Resort.
- A staycation is not the same as a vacation no matter what anybody says. (On the other hand, at least with a staycation you get to sleep in your own bed at night instead of some soiled, bedbug ridden mattress.)
- Almost anything can be grilled, except spaghetti. And while this might seem obvious, to 4-year-olds it’s not.
- It’s funny when kids ask “Are we there yet?”, but only the first half-dozen times. After that, it’s frustrating as Hell.
- Time outs seem much crueler when the sun is shining and everybody is outside playing.
- On the other hand, they are much more effective.
- Fishing is over-rated.
- If you’re taking a road trip and you want to know how often you’ll have to make a pit stop, add the ages of everyone in the car together, divide this by the total number of passengers, then multiply by 2.
- Some camps are good. Some camps bad. But you won’t know which is which until after the point at which you can still get a refund.
- Nothing tests a friendship like two families taking a vacation together.
- And splitting expenses.
- Sometimes it’s hard to believe that your parents and your kids’ grandparents are the same people.
- A good way to tell if kids have too much free time is by how often they fight.
- Another good way to tell if kids have too much free time is when they start looking forward to going back to school.
- It’s sad when summer ends.
- But given the way rules and routines get pushed aside when the sun shines late into the evening, there would be complete chaos if it didn’t.
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