App: iNeedABreak
What it does: Uses a computer-generated voice to make vague threats — “You better be careful!” — ask cautionary rhetorical questions — “Do you really think that’s a good idea?” — or inquire in a generic way into the state of things — “Is everybody okay down there?” — at random or pre-set intervals so you can sneak away and take a nap, watch TV, read a book, or in some other way take a break from 24/7 policing/lifeguarding and relax.
Also has a special setting that enables it to sense those uneasy silences that are almost always followed by blood and/or tears and say “Hey! What are you kids doing?”
Pricing: Less than the hourly cost of a babysitter for the pro version; free version replaces every 10th statement with one from an advertiser like “Anyone hungry for Doritos-Brand Tortilla Chips?” or “Who wants to play High School Musical 3?”
Who would buy it: Parents of kids age 2 to 12, and possibly middle-managers.