You’d think dropping your kid off at school in the morning would be easy, but it’s not. There is a specific procedure that you and everyone else is expected to follow, regardless of how illogical (or illegal) it seems, because when you do, there is (in theory) less chaos.

The problem is that some parents don’t. Ever. Which is why these insurgents should be fined and/or punished:

1. Parents who let their kids off at the corner instead of at the designated “drop-off zone” should be fined $100.
2. Parents who linger in the drop-off lane after dropping their kids off to talk to parents walking their kids to school should be fined $150.
3. Parents who linger in the drop-off lane to talk to other parents lingering in the drop-off lane should also be fined $150, but they should be forced to come early the next day to personally apologize to every single other driver, too, and the other drivers should be able to throw food at them.
4. Parents who pull out, stop, and then back up because “my son forgot his lunch” should be forced to display a bumper sticker that reads “My child goes to Ronald Reagan Elementary, but not for long if I keep driving like an idiot.”
5. Parents who park in the drop-off lane and run inside the school for any reason should have their cars impounded for 30 days.
6. Parents who enter the drop-off lane from the wrong direction should have their cars impounded for 30 days and then sold at public auction, with the proceeds going to buy new library books.
7. Parents who screw anything else up should be sent to the principal’s office.